Dating and Courtship

DATING AND COURTSHIP....

one of the most dramatic changes influencing marriage preparation in the United States during the last quarter century has been the emergence of a new period in life between adolescence and adulthood that has been labeled "emerging adulthood" (Arnett, 2000).

One of the best ways to understand how this new perieod is emerging adulthood is influencing preparation for later marriage and family life is to look at the defining characteristics of the current dating and courtship culture. 

In particular, these family professionals have noted an erosion od traditional courtship patterns and a dating culture that lacks socially defined norms, rituals, and relationship milestones to guide young people toward marriage. 

As a result of these changes, a number of pitfalls exist in our current dating and courtship culture, including:

• a growing pessimism about marriage and a focus on personal independence before and after marriage.
• a primary focus on personal financial independence for both men and women,
• widespread sexual permissiveness, and 
• high rates of couples living together before marriage.

When I returned home from my mission I dated a few but couldn't really understand what and how I could figure my dating process into courtship. I received a counsel from my district president on the three things  can focus on to bring my dating into a courtship. Firstly to date someone who is a return missionary or a worthy priesthood because he will take you to the house of the lord and be sealed with you for time and eternity and also he wouldn't put god as his second choice. Secondly, to date someone who is a family oriented because in future a life with him you could see how he treats you and your family and also will show the values of love and respect he has for relationship in his life. Thirdly, to date someone who becomes your best friend- one who not only care for you but be there for you as your world of fun, laughter, weakness and strength.

I am blessed that I received all this in one package. I would always be mindful of what I had received, he is truly a man God has prepared for me. 

during the time we were in our courtship relationship we had a chance to reflect on our patriarchal blessing and that just made a huge meaning to what we were getting into. We could really feel the Lords hand in our life together that we were moving on. My particular blessing says that 

"my future husband is being prepared, so do not get settled for something less than a temple marriage"

This part of my patriarchal blessing was a key for me to know that DJ was being helped by Heavenly Father (I was baptized in 2004 and DJ was baptized in 2005, I went on mission in 2009, DJ was preparing to go on a mission in 2007 but somehow his documentation work for his passport took a long time and so he was called in New Delhi mission In 2010, soon after I left for my mission. When I returned home, he was called to serve his last few months in my branch. I was called to serve as a Relief Society president and was always be involved in helping the new sisters coming and assign fellowship. And this helped me know better this missionary Elder Krishna Velu serving  in my branch). All these reasons made me understand that he is the one Heavenly Father was preparing for me.

In my husband's patriarchal blessing it says that 

"the girl is being prepared of his choice and he walk with her in the temple and be sealed for time and eternity" 

Today when I ask him what did he think of that girl- he says that all he knows is I was the best choice and he loves me so much.

He is a loving, kind and the best choice of my life. I couldn't ask Heavenly Father more to what he has given me. We both never dated going out and spend months or years to figure out our courtship. Our spiritual eyes were enough to make us recognize us.

Love the relationship and feels blessed to be able to have it for eternity....