REFERENCES..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVdTUsfBQJg Video from Youtube about the Proclamation to the world celebrating 20 years.

Introduction about myself and my family, pictures taken from Facebook. "lilshortypie@gmail.com"

"Dating and Courtship"- from the book "Successful Marriages and Families"-Proclamation principles and research perspective, edited by Alan J.Hawkins; David C. Dollahite; Thomas W. Draper;(chapter1, Young Adulthood and Pathways to Eternal Marriage by Jason S. Carroll, p.3 to 4).
Shared own testimony and pictures (Facebook- lilshortypie@gmail.com)of me, my husband (Durga), friends & family from India. The pictures are from our engagement from 2013.

"Equal Partnership"- (Chapter 4, "Equal Partnership between Men and Women in families", by Valerie M.Hudson and Richard B. Miller, p.38 to 36) also quoted scriptures versus from "The Book of Mormon", second Nephi chapter 2 versus 27.

"Parenting Principles"- (Chapter 10, "Parenting with Love,Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship" by Craig H. Hart, Lloyd D. Newell, and Julie H. Haupt, p.103 to 106).

"Understanding Abuse in the Family Life.."- (chapter 24, by Kay Bradford and Jason B. Whiting, p. 249 to 260). Explains the term Abuse and what can we do to prevent abuse or abused.

"Defending the Sanctity of Human Life"- (Chapter 27, by Cynthia L. Hallen, p.294 to 295) it was the very last topic I shared in the blog.

All the chapter and references are used from the book called "Successful Marriages and families".

Defending the Sanctity of Human Life...

A few suggestions for preserving and defending the sanctity of life in legal and appropriate ways.

• Maintain and promote chastity and fidelity: Since unwed pregnancy is one of the chief motives behind elective abortion, the most important thing anyone can do to uphold the sanctity of life is to maintain sexual chastity before marriage and marital fidelity after marriage, "Marriage between man and woman is essential to God's eternal plan". 

• Help provide for unwed parents: Since financial problem are another important way to protect the sanctity of life is to provide help for people who face parenthood out of wedlock. the united states has approximately 4,000 crises pregnancy agencies (Willke & Willke, 1998, p.7). These nonprofit organizations help women and their partners choose constructive solutions, such as adoption, when a problem pregnancy occurs. LDS Family Services provides such aid for unwed parents and their families regardless of religious affiliation or economic status.

• Become better informed: We can also help by becoming better informed about life-related issues. Research on the topic of elective abortion enables us to build persuasive arguments for promoting the sacredness of life. Latter-day Saints legal scholars have published many useful studies on this topic from the perspective of family law (Wardle & Wood,1982;Wilkins,Sherlock,& Clark,1991). Professional organizations such as Americans United for Life (AUL;;http;//www.serve.com/fem4life), and University Faculty for Life (UFL; http;//www.marquette.edu/ufl/) can also be a source of helpful information on abortion and other issues surrounding the sanctity of life.  

• Discuss the sanctity of life accurately and appropriately:Members of the Church must not condone violate or illegal means for opposing elective abortion. Just mentioning the topic of abortion can stir up controversy because the issue has become so sensitive and volatile in modern society. Therefore, Latter-day Saints should seek the spirit in order to discuss the sanctity of life in ways that will help others gain accurate information about elective abortion and its consequences. The vast majority of people who oppose abortion use peaceful means to express their concern. 

• Recognize the consequences of abortion: We need to recognize the grief and psychological pain that may come to women, men, and families who have been affected by elective abortion. Women Exploited by Abortion (WEBA;http;//www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/statistics.asp) provides support for living victims of the abortion industry. Other groups help men deal with abortion-related grief issues.

• Strengthen our testimonies of the sanctity of life: Latter-day Saints should prayerfully strive to strengthen their testimonies of the sanctity of life, their resolve to oppose elective abortion, and their ability to articulate and defend gospel principles relating to the sanctity of life.

I believe that the above following suggestion can help us and aware us that how important it is to bear a child rather to do abortion. I also believe that abortion can be complicated in some situation but prayerfully making that decision for abortion is very important. Some countries are against abortion like India, because people do abortion after knowing the gender of the child. I testify as we seek and do as the Lord wants to do and live our life by following his gospel standard, we would actually be blessed to overcome to have an abortion. Family is eternal, and infants are innocent we have been given commandment to multiply and replenish the earth as husband and wife lawfully wedded. Our Heavenly Father haven't given us the right to kill the children only to bring them to this earth and take care of them. Everyone has a purpose to fulfill being on this earth. 

Understanding Abuse in Family Life..

We warn that individuals who...abuse spouse or offspring...will one day stand accountable before God.

I had been reading this book called "Successful Marriage and Families" which is based on the "Proclamation Principles and research perspective" For this project and my course Family 100. As I was reading this chapter 24, I felt I need to share with you all. Because this chapter has some valuable things we all can learn in our life and receive some awareness. 

Firstly, I would like to share what the authors Kay Bradford and Jason B. Whiting in the chapter says regarding "Abuse"- Abuse consists of actions or attitudes that are intended to hurt or control. It can include many different types of behaviors, from subtle verbal criticisms to the severest forms of physical or sexual violence. "Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body but can deeply affect the mind and spirit, destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt, and fear" (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints,1995, p. 1). 

In my opinion, I admire that the church itself stands against these kind of behavior from mankind. I feel grateful for the teachings that helps me and my husband to raise our kids in gospel way. I have seen and heard all the kinds of abusing described in the above passage in my own neighborhood. A lot of them are very common because nobody wants to interfere in anybody business. 

The second thing I would like to discuss is about "Child Physical Abuse"- The offense of child physical abuse is increasingly recognized and denounced by society, but is all the more serious in light of key doctrines regarding the sanctity of our physical bodies. We are asked, "Seest thou that ye are created after mine own image?" (Ether 3:15), and "know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost...?" (1 Corinthians 6:19). Child physical abuse was initially defined as observable bodily harm to a child, but the definition has been expanded to include substantial risk for injury or endangerment (Miller Perrin & Perrin, 2007). As a child guidance tool, spanking may teach something about what to do, The child still needs positive instruction, logical consequences for poor choices, and coaching toward better behavior.

In this chapter there are a lot of scenario that explains how people are led to become abusers and abused. A lot of the reason behind is due to have that same kind of experience or abused in their own family or past life. Some of the topic that it discusses about are child abuse and neglect, sexual abuse, child psychological abuse, child neglect and deprivation, consequences of child abuse, link between child abuse and intimate partner violence, intimate partner violence, gender and patterns of violence, etc. 

"If you give way to your angry feelings, it sets on fire the whole course of nature...and you are then apt to set those on fire who are contending with you"- Brigham Young (Widtsoe, 1977,p.269).

I actually love this quote, in just simple words President Brigham Young explained the fact of how to protect ourselves from these abuser or abused. Well I grew up in a middle class family in my country India, but through this discussion and family 100 course I have come to learn a lot of things to protect family members from abuse within home. From chapter 24 "understanding abuse in family life" explains a few scenario's of those abuses taken place, a section regarding "what to do" explains that family violence is viewed by some cultures as largely a private affair in which authorities should not be involved, and in some countries the victims of sexual abuse may be silenced, constrained to marry an abuser, or even killed by relatives in the name of family honor (WHO, 2002). Some experts believe the progress is in part to better public awareness and improved prevention and intervention programs. There are many ways to help decrease the prevalence and impact of child abuse. Such as media violence and culturally accepted family violence. Also individuals can advocate for public policies that support the prevention as well as the treatment of child maltreatment (Miller-Perrin 7 Perrin, 2007). Therefore other methods can include supporting local and national agencies that address abuse, programs related causes (poverty, unemployment, housing issues, family life education). And there are LDS family counselors who can guide us to overcome those abuses too. The process of healing can be facilitated with help from mental health professionals as well as trusted family members, friends, and bishop or stake president's.

Parenting Principles..

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness....

Parents bringing children into the world and then rearing them in love and righteousness is essential to the great plan of happiness (Alma 42: 8). To assist parents in meeting their family responsibilities, the Lord has given commandments, guiding principles, and helpful examples in the scriptures, along with the counsel of modern day prophets and apostles. In parenting, mothers and fathers have the challenges and opportunity to apply general principles derived from inspired sources and adapt them to their individual and family circumstances as they diligently strive to meet their children's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs (see D&C 68:25-28; 75:28; 83:4-5; Mosiah 4:14; 1 Timothy 5:4). 

Family members' individual talents and personality traits, coupled with inter-generational influences, family structure, living arrangements, and cultural norms. President Ezra Taft Benson (1974, p.381) said: Usually the Lord gives us the overall objectives to be accomplished and some guidelines to follow, but he expects us to work out most of the details and methods. The methods and procedures are usually developed through study and prayer and by living so that we can obtain and follow the promptings of the spirit. "All people who come to this earth and are born in mortality, had a pre-existent, spiritual personality, as the sons and daughters of the Eternal Father" (Statement of the First presidency, 1912, p.417).

REARING CHILDREN IN LOVE AND RIGHTEOUSNESS

Important principles found in the scriptures and the proclamation have been taught throughout the ages to assist parents to "rear their children in love and righteousness" and adapt to child individuality. the proclamation admonishes respect for the divine and individual nature of children as parents love, teach, and guide them with an emphasis on teaching and preparing children rather than unrighteous controlling their wills. As Brigham Young suggested, 

                  Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by faith rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into all truth and holiness (Widtsoe, 1978,p.208).

In order to promote optimal development and to rear children in love and righteousness, the following are crucial elements for each child, although specific implementations and approaches may be individualized based upon the needs and personality of the particular child:

• Love, warmth, and support
• Clear and reasonable expectations for component behavior
• Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise
• Reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits
• Opportunites to perform competently and make choices
• Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as harsh physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming, and inflicting guilt
• Models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes 

Parenting in gospel context

The family proclamation makes clear that Heavenly Father expects parents to have significant influence in the lives of their children. God's plan for His children may be ideally characterized as the placement of children into homes where parents are committed to their development and proclamation principles are practiced. No other arrangement is as effective, as demonstrated by the First Presidency's call to parents "to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility (First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1999,p.3).

In my personal experience, during my childhood I used to get spanks from my parents for getting into troubles. Today I am a parent, but having the gospel teaches me to be kind, loving and warm with my son rather then demanding. Sometimes it is hard to be patience with him, but I know as I pray for the Holy Ghost and seek Heavenly Fathers guidance. I am surely blessed with an warm welcoming attitude that will bring patience in myself. And I also understand that every child is different at times and in places. Children are fun to have in our life, they have so much energy from morning to night and can still keep going if we let them too. My patriarchal blessing teaches me that I need to be patience, loving, kind and gentle with my children and I know if I follow these things that the Lord will surely be a good parent to my children. I know God is the real owner of our children, we have just taken them for loan in this mortal life. Heavenly Father is the perfect and ultimate, so it is definitely a great blessing for all of us to be chosen as parents for those children. Being a mom was not a easy thing, but without God and my better half I couldn't bring it to a possibility.

Thanks 

Maggie

Equal Partnership

By divine designs, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. 

The doctrinal concept of equal partnership between men and women

The restored gospel of Jesus Christ proclaims a doctrine that is not widely held in the fallen world, even among certain Christian sects, and that is the doctrine of sincerely equal partnership between men and women, here and in the eternities. Indeed, from our extensive research and reading over the past 15 years, we may go so far as to say that this doctrine, mentioned explicitly in "The Family" A Proclamation to the world,"is revolutionary and distinguishes The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a unique belief system.The term equality means "identity";that is, that two equal things must be identical to each other. Such usage represents a fallen and harmful understanding  of equality that is espoused by Lucifer, who passionately want all be " like himself"'  (2 Nephi 2:27).

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught that the Latter-day Saints theology does not teach the gender difference superimposes a hierarchy between men and women. Thinking about all that we believe to be true about the equality, both here and in Zion, of men and women in God's kingdom: equal in blessings,equal in power, intelligence, wisdom, dignity, respect, giving consent, agency, value, potential, authority, exalted fullness, virtue, spirituality, and spiritual gifts; equal in temporal things in Zion; and equal heirs with Christ. When we read this list, we unconsciously redefine "equality" and "identity" and thus struggle with these concept. And So it is time to work on a personal definition of equal that eschews both intimation of identity or hierarchy. One gender does not have greater eternal possibility than the other.

I grew up being taught that women's were not allowed to work and was only suppose to nurture their children and family. Men's in my culture or family were given more important then the women's but The proclamation to the World helps me understand that men and women are equal, they both have the equality to fulfill the roles and responsibility as parents. If husband work and provide for family then wife nurture their children and family. In marriage never create a gender or other factors differences, god created us all equally.   

Dating and Courtship

DATING AND COURTSHIP....

one of the most dramatic changes influencing marriage preparation in the United States during the last quarter century has been the emergence of a new period in life between adolescence and adulthood that has been labeled "emerging adulthood" (Arnett, 2000).

One of the best ways to understand how this new perieod is emerging adulthood is influencing preparation for later marriage and family life is to look at the defining characteristics of the current dating and courtship culture. 

In particular, these family professionals have noted an erosion od traditional courtship patterns and a dating culture that lacks socially defined norms, rituals, and relationship milestones to guide young people toward marriage. 

As a result of these changes, a number of pitfalls exist in our current dating and courtship culture, including:

• a growing pessimism about marriage and a focus on personal independence before and after marriage.
• a primary focus on personal financial independence for both men and women,
• widespread sexual permissiveness, and 
• high rates of couples living together before marriage.

When I returned home from my mission I dated a few but couldn't really understand what and how I could figure my dating process into courtship. I received a counsel from my district president on the three things  can focus on to bring my dating into a courtship. Firstly to date someone who is a return missionary or a worthy priesthood because he will take you to the house of the lord and be sealed with you for time and eternity and also he wouldn't put god as his second choice. Secondly, to date someone who is a family oriented because in future a life with him you could see how he treats you and your family and also will show the values of love and respect he has for relationship in his life. Thirdly, to date someone who becomes your best friend- one who not only care for you but be there for you as your world of fun, laughter, weakness and strength.

I am blessed that I received all this in one package. I would always be mindful of what I had received, he is truly a man God has prepared for me. 

during the time we were in our courtship relationship we had a chance to reflect on our patriarchal blessing and that just made a huge meaning to what we were getting into. We could really feel the Lords hand in our life together that we were moving on. My particular blessing says that 

"my future husband is being prepared, so do not get settled for something less than a temple marriage"

This part of my patriarchal blessing was a key for me to know that DJ was being helped by Heavenly Father (I was baptized in 2004 and DJ was baptized in 2005, I went on mission in 2009, DJ was preparing to go on a mission in 2007 but somehow his documentation work for his passport took a long time and so he was called in New Delhi mission In 2010, soon after I left for my mission. When I returned home, he was called to serve his last few months in my branch. I was called to serve as a Relief Society president and was always be involved in helping the new sisters coming and assign fellowship. And this helped me know better this missionary Elder Krishna Velu serving  in my branch). All these reasons made me understand that he is the one Heavenly Father was preparing for me.

In my husband's patriarchal blessing it says that 

"the girl is being prepared of his choice and he walk with her in the temple and be sealed for time and eternity" 

Today when I ask him what did he think of that girl- he says that all he knows is I was the best choice and he loves me so much.

He is a loving, kind and the best choice of my life. I couldn't ask Heavenly Father more to what he has given me. We both never dated going out and spend months or years to figure out our courtship. Our spiritual eyes were enough to make us recognize us.

Love the relationship and feels blessed to be able to have it for eternity....

   

Home can be Heaven on Earth

Home Can be Heaven on Earth

My name is Margaret G. Krishna Velu. I married to Durga R. Krishna Velu in the year 2013. We have a wonderful son name Jeffrey C. Krishna Velu. I belong to the church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day-saints. I am very sensitive when it comes to families and relationships because when I was six years old my parents were separated and I and my two elder brother were raised by my dad and step mom. I still remember the day, when I first came and visited the LDS church. I was amazed with the love and assurance the members had for each of their family members. I felt the need of it and it kept dragging me as I was so in tune to know more about their congregation. It has been 12 years that I joined the church and felt a lot of blessing along the way in my life. I was born and raised as catholic and so none in my family joined the LDS church. I served my mission in New Zealand Auckland, my testimony was increased and strengthen. The opportunity to share the gospel shaped and molded me in a way, where I can truly understand what God has in store for me and move according to that. Temple was another great and amazing experience to understand that home can be heaven on earth...

Every single day I served my mission it helped me ponder how I can shape my own family, serve my family and feel the joy and love in family. Marriage was another step to help me recognize the importance of building a home rather than a house. The joy of being a wife to a wonderful man in my life and being a mom to cute son has given a great meaning to my life. I am proud to  have my own family and learn the importance of adoring those relationship family has brought in my life. I truly agree a HOME CAN BE HEAVEN ON EARTH because I have a family of my own and they teach me grow in my weaknesses and strenghten me become the person I need to...

Love Margaret Krishna Velu