Parenting Principles..

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness....

Parents bringing children into the world and then rearing them in love and righteousness is essential to the great plan of happiness (Alma 42: 8). To assist parents in meeting their family responsibilities, the Lord has given commandments, guiding principles, and helpful examples in the scriptures, along with the counsel of modern day prophets and apostles. In parenting, mothers and fathers have the challenges and opportunity to apply general principles derived from inspired sources and adapt them to their individual and family circumstances as they diligently strive to meet their children's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs (see D&C 68:25-28; 75:28; 83:4-5; Mosiah 4:14; 1 Timothy 5:4). 

Family members' individual talents and personality traits, coupled with inter-generational influences, family structure, living arrangements, and cultural norms. President Ezra Taft Benson (1974, p.381) said: Usually the Lord gives us the overall objectives to be accomplished and some guidelines to follow, but he expects us to work out most of the details and methods. The methods and procedures are usually developed through study and prayer and by living so that we can obtain and follow the promptings of the spirit. "All people who come to this earth and are born in mortality, had a pre-existent, spiritual personality, as the sons and daughters of the Eternal Father" (Statement of the First presidency, 1912, p.417).

REARING CHILDREN IN LOVE AND RIGHTEOUSNESS

Important principles found in the scriptures and the proclamation have been taught throughout the ages to assist parents to "rear their children in love and righteousness" and adapt to child individuality. the proclamation admonishes respect for the divine and individual nature of children as parents love, teach, and guide them with an emphasis on teaching and preparing children rather than unrighteous controlling their wills. As Brigham Young suggested, 

                  Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by faith rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into all truth and holiness (Widtsoe, 1978,p.208).

In order to promote optimal development and to rear children in love and righteousness, the following are crucial elements for each child, although specific implementations and approaches may be individualized based upon the needs and personality of the particular child:

• Love, warmth, and support
• Clear and reasonable expectations for component behavior
• Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise
• Reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits
• Opportunites to perform competently and make choices
• Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as harsh physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming, and inflicting guilt
• Models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes 

Parenting in gospel context

The family proclamation makes clear that Heavenly Father expects parents to have significant influence in the lives of their children. God's plan for His children may be ideally characterized as the placement of children into homes where parents are committed to their development and proclamation principles are practiced. No other arrangement is as effective, as demonstrated by the First Presidency's call to parents "to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility (First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1999,p.3).

In my personal experience, during my childhood I used to get spanks from my parents for getting into troubles. Today I am a parent, but having the gospel teaches me to be kind, loving and warm with my son rather then demanding. Sometimes it is hard to be patience with him, but I know as I pray for the Holy Ghost and seek Heavenly Fathers guidance. I am surely blessed with an warm welcoming attitude that will bring patience in myself. And I also understand that every child is different at times and in places. Children are fun to have in our life, they have so much energy from morning to night and can still keep going if we let them too. My patriarchal blessing teaches me that I need to be patience, loving, kind and gentle with my children and I know if I follow these things that the Lord will surely be a good parent to my children. I know God is the real owner of our children, we have just taken them for loan in this mortal life. Heavenly Father is the perfect and ultimate, so it is definitely a great blessing for all of us to be chosen as parents for those children. Being a mom was not a easy thing, but without God and my better half I couldn't bring it to a possibility.

Thanks 

Maggie