Understanding Abuse in Family Life..

We warn that individuals who...abuse spouse or offspring...will one day stand accountable before God.

I had been reading this book called "Successful Marriage and Families" which is based on the "Proclamation Principles and research perspective" For this project and my course Family 100. As I was reading this chapter 24, I felt I need to share with you all. Because this chapter has some valuable things we all can learn in our life and receive some awareness. 

Firstly, I would like to share what the authors Kay Bradford and Jason B. Whiting in the chapter says regarding "Abuse"- Abuse consists of actions or attitudes that are intended to hurt or control. It can include many different types of behaviors, from subtle verbal criticisms to the severest forms of physical or sexual violence. "Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body but can deeply affect the mind and spirit, destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt, and fear" (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints,1995, p. 1). 

In my opinion, I admire that the church itself stands against these kind of behavior from mankind. I feel grateful for the teachings that helps me and my husband to raise our kids in gospel way. I have seen and heard all the kinds of abusing described in the above passage in my own neighborhood. A lot of them are very common because nobody wants to interfere in anybody business. 

The second thing I would like to discuss is about "Child Physical Abuse"- The offense of child physical abuse is increasingly recognized and denounced by society, but is all the more serious in light of key doctrines regarding the sanctity of our physical bodies. We are asked, "Seest thou that ye are created after mine own image?" (Ether 3:15), and "know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost...?" (1 Corinthians 6:19). Child physical abuse was initially defined as observable bodily harm to a child, but the definition has been expanded to include substantial risk for injury or endangerment (Miller Perrin & Perrin, 2007). As a child guidance tool, spanking may teach something about what to do, The child still needs positive instruction, logical consequences for poor choices, and coaching toward better behavior.

In this chapter there are a lot of scenario that explains how people are led to become abusers and abused. A lot of the reason behind is due to have that same kind of experience or abused in their own family or past life. Some of the topic that it discusses about are child abuse and neglect, sexual abuse, child psychological abuse, child neglect and deprivation, consequences of child abuse, link between child abuse and intimate partner violence, intimate partner violence, gender and patterns of violence, etc. 

"If you give way to your angry feelings, it sets on fire the whole course of nature...and you are then apt to set those on fire who are contending with you"- Brigham Young (Widtsoe, 1977,p.269).

I actually love this quote, in just simple words President Brigham Young explained the fact of how to protect ourselves from these abuser or abused. Well I grew up in a middle class family in my country India, but through this discussion and family 100 course I have come to learn a lot of things to protect family members from abuse within home. From chapter 24 "understanding abuse in family life" explains a few scenario's of those abuses taken place, a section regarding "what to do" explains that family violence is viewed by some cultures as largely a private affair in which authorities should not be involved, and in some countries the victims of sexual abuse may be silenced, constrained to marry an abuser, or even killed by relatives in the name of family honor (WHO, 2002). Some experts believe the progress is in part to better public awareness and improved prevention and intervention programs. There are many ways to help decrease the prevalence and impact of child abuse. Such as media violence and culturally accepted family violence. Also individuals can advocate for public policies that support the prevention as well as the treatment of child maltreatment (Miller-Perrin 7 Perrin, 2007). Therefore other methods can include supporting local and national agencies that address abuse, programs related causes (poverty, unemployment, housing issues, family life education). And there are LDS family counselors who can guide us to overcome those abuses too. The process of healing can be facilitated with help from mental health professionals as well as trusted family members, friends, and bishop or stake president's.